Being Yourself Is Not An Experience

Talking Diaries

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-8:55

Being Yourself Is Not An Experience

Dr Louis Koster With John Kremer

Mar 24, 2024

Transcript

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Excerpt of the Podcast:

SPEAKER 1: John Kremer

Welcome to the Talking Diaries podcast featuring Dr Louis Koster with John Kremer.

I thought it was kind of interesting.

The next day you were writing in your diary and you said, any experience of myself, however compelling and delightful, is very selfish and makes me dumb.

Having an experience of myself is the original sin.

and yet many of us would say oh oh no if it's compelling that makes me intelligent but it really doesn't because it's still compelling you oh it's so profound what you just said um since it's so interesting having an experience of myself.

SPEAKER 2: Dr Louis Koster

is the ultimate illusion.

It is the ultimate setup for the mind to thrive.

The truth is I cannot have an experience of myself.

I am myself.

In any experience of myself, there is an object of experience involved.

I'm experiencing myself.

That is a fallacy.

It is an untruth.

And so and that is the operating mechanism of the mind of consciousness is that and ultimately of language is that it gives you it gives me an experience of myself which is created by the duality that language creates and so having an experience of myself although delightful and amazing and is the ultimate inauthenticity and in relationship to myself because that is not me it is a great feeling it is wonderful.

Like it is wonderful to be appreciated or for people to say oh Louis you're amazing oh you're Talking Diaries oh man you're that's fantastic how did you come up with it or oh or whatever it is so now but that's that's not me to take that in as oh that is so wonderful or to crave that is how I would fundamentally sabotage myself in relationship to myself.

Now, I'm not making it wrong or anything like it, but I am inviting who's listening here to see it for what it is.

That is where you find the truth of what's going on, but that is where you find salvation is to see things for what they are. To just see it for what it is. And the truth is you may have never thought about it, is that there is an inauthenticity in having an experience of yourself and call that or relate to that as that that is yourself.

That is not true

This is part of the dynamic of the mind is that it calls up a thought or what I call something is arising in my consciousness that creates an experience. And the moment I identify myself with that experience, I'm hooked into it I then take it for reality.

What has me take what I experience in my consciousness for reality or what has what arises in my consciousness has me take that for reality is the moment that I identify myself with it. Like literally when I identify myself with it.

That is how the mind keeps me hooked in its dynamic. But I’m not what I experience. I mean, how can I ever be what is only momentary. You got to to correct my english here “momentary.”

I'm going to practice that!

How can I ever be that which is momentary.

Just think about it!

That's insane!

Experience comes and goes.

It's only there for what for one or two seconds or like milliseconds or whatever it is so it is momentary.

And so how can I be that which is momentary?

I mean it is absurd and it creates the illusion of a self that is not my true self and that illusion is based or is located inside of duality which is the magic of language.

It creates a duality of experience that then gives a sense of self that is not your true self.

And we get hooked into that and then we say well that is me and that then becomes what we then engage with in our consciousness and and start to to occupy our consciousness so so in being there is no experience of ourselves have you ever noticed that when you're just there you're just there there's not an experience of yourself.

There is no self to experience in being.

You just are.

And so, well, am I saying don't enjoy the experience that you have of yourself?

No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying to see what it is.

The moment that I do that, I can let go of it and then it disappears.

And that is its natural, well, that is its nature that it disappears.

But if I hang on to it because I've never examined that by the assumption that that's who or what I am, then I need to defend it with all of its implications.

SPEAKER 1: John Kremer

The moment you try defending anything, you're off on the wrong path.

SPEAKER 2: Dr Louis Koster

Yeah, but but then that is what has your attention and the thing is and that is what the mind does that is the work of a magician.

Like it says, “look at my hand, look at my hand.” while in fact the real action is happening somewhere else.

So the mind tricks you in capturing your attention, like "Oh look here! This is you! Have an experience of yourself.”

“You're so amazing, you're so beautiful!"

Well, what's actually happening is that you are no longer yourself. That is the cost and the cost is enormous, financially, in your business, in your relationships. in applying yourself. in learning something new, in your creativity, in everything!

Because the source of all of that is found in just being yourself. That's where you are open and available. That's where you get ideas that are creative and you take the right actions.

Watch the video of the podcast on YouTube https://youtube.com/playlist and subscribe to the Talking Diaries YouTube channel con subtitulo en español.

Dr Louis Koster, distinguished humanitarian, poet, nonduality expert and bestselling author served for over ten years as a medical doctor for “Doctors Without Borders” and other humanitarian organizations in trouble spots across the globe. For his humanitarian efforts, Dr. Koster has received numerous awards and has appeared on radio, television, and news shows.

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